I had the pleasure of speaking to Kitty on Monday during our visit to the senior center. My partners and I arrived 3 minutes late to class and so all of the other tables were full with Mills students and the women from the center. We sat at an empty table hoping to find a seat with other students or women after Ruth’s introduction of the novel. After a couples of minutes, in walked Kitty, the woman who we would end up having a wonderful conversation about aging and death with. She rushed over to our table and sat down.
Kitty shared with us how uneasy death makes her feel. She said there was a wall she did not dare move past because it would force her to face mortality, and she was not ready to be dependent on others. One of Kitty’s worst fears is to hear her daughter sighing as she tends to Kitty’s needs in the future.
I expressed that I felt the same way. I do not like to think about aging, I am worried enough about my parents aging and that is all I can take in the moment. Kitty wondered how the protagonists extreme preoccupation with everyone affected her and her loved ones. She mentioned that she knows people who like to concern themselves with other things in an attempt to relieve their minds of what she calls the dark cloud hanging over them. She admits that she too has a cloud following her but she tries to live in the moment and do the best with what she has. Kitty said it was important to live in the now and to take care of yourself as well because it puts your family members at ease.
Something that Kitty did not expect to have to worry about was her children and grandchildren as she aged. A huge part about aging is considering how it will affect the family members around you, Kitty says she doesn’t want to leave a mess for her daughter to take care of after she passes.
I really enjoyed my conversation with Kitty and my group this visit. It was a conversation I did not know I needed but something that brought me enormous insight and peace.
Coming to Age 