Admissions in The Liar’s Wife
(this response was, unfortunately, written for the wrong text, which has the same title as the one we were assigned. The author of the text I read and responded to is Samantha Hayes). Ruth gave me permission to post this response even though it was for the wrong text)
My first sense that Ella is hiding something from herself comes when she finally divulges why she is working so hard to avoid interacting socially with her coworkers. The reason is that she fears revealing details about herself. Specifically, things she isn’t willing to ‘admit’ (page 5 of ebook). The word admit, caught my attention. In this case, it reveals a lot about Ella. She says that conversations away from work would inevitably become personal, and about her. In regards to discussing herself she then says, “And there simply isn’t anything to tell. Not that I’m willing to admit, anyway” (5). This choice of word indicated to me that Ella, undoubtedly, is ashamed of her past. Consider for a moment if admit was replaced with something else, for instance the word ‘share’. If there was nothing Ella was willing to share then the underlying message could be that she is a private person. Perhaps she has a rule not to share personal details with coworkers. But, that is not the case. The word used is admit, which by definition, includes reluctance. It indicated that Ella knows she has done something wrong, something to be ashamed of. I think the choice of the word ‘admit’ serves as possibly the earliest indication that Ella is hiding something not just from her coworkers, but also from herself.
The idea that Ella is not only hiding from her coworkers, but also from herself, is supported when one considers her chosen method for avoidance. She chooses to be reclusive, to stay home night after night. I found myself asking, why doesn’t she just lie? If she wanted to go out, and it does seem that deep down some tiny part of her would like to be more social with her coworkers, then couldn’t she lie, fib, make something up? This doesn’t even seem to occur to her. I think the reason behind this is because to make up an untruth, internally one must acknowledge that there is a truth that is being covered up. Some people make up lies and disseminate them until their own reality has shifted to accommodate. Ella seems to deal with things differently. It is as if she has decided to completely ignore whatever it is she feels ashamed of. Rather than lie about it and acknowledge it on some level, she appears to conduct herself in such a way that she just pretends her shame doesn’t exist.
Coming to Age 