“The thing was, he would do what I asked. I wouldn’t, in his place. I would rip it open, no matter what promises had been made. He’d obey. What a mix of rage and admiration I could feel, at his being willing to do that. It went back through our whole life together” (254).
I chose to look at this quote because I think promises are a consistent theme throughout this piece. We see some explicit references to promises regarding Dolly/Gwen, and some related references to commitment and dedication in relationships.
The first time we see someone make a promise in this story is with Dolly (who we only know as Gwen at this point) making a promise to the narrator that she will drop off the lotion that will “restore [the narrator’s] youth” (239). This promise immediately struck me as shady–the idea that you would give your money to a complete stranger with the “promise” that they will return with what you have paid for seems absurd to me. Dolly, however, follows through on her promise, and the narrator is as surprised as I was reading this story. The narrator and Dolly cultivate a kind of bond here, with the narrator giving Dolly her copy of Wild Geese, and Dolly promising to read it, “no matter what” (240). Once again, the narrator gives Dolly, still almost a stranger, something she does not hope to get back, and Dolly promises to follow through in some way. Promises, between any two people, are deeply connecting–they hold an understanding of commitment, and an ability to see what is important to both people.
Dolly precedes her promise to read Wild Geese by telling the narrator “she didn’t know when she had ever read a book through because of being so busy” (241). She uses this language of business similarly when talking about her relationship with Franklin, the narrator’s partner: “He might have written her a letter or two, but she was just too busy for letters” (243). This statement indicates a broken promise, a broken commitment, in which Franklin had the desire and time to write to Dolly, but Dolly’s business becomes a way out of the commitment. This statement creates a clear contrast between Dolly’s relationship to Franklin and her relationship to the narrator, where her business does not (yet, at least) excuse her out of the promise, but strengthens the promise. Dolly is not going to read the book if she has time for it, but is going to read it despite not having time for it, where she did not write back to Franklin despite not having time to do so. Franklin, though, had maintained a commitment to Dolly in writing her letters, even maintaining some dedication by writing poetry about her. Thus we have a tricky triangle of relationships between the three: the narrator and Franklin, who is not technically her husband but has been her partner for a long time and shares a promise (if unspoken) with her that they will continue to be partners until they die; the narrator and Dolly, who are oddly bonded by Dolly’s promises despite being practical strangers to one another; and Franklin and Dolly, who were estranged by Dolly’s inability (lack of desire?) to keep up with Franklin’s commitment to their relationship. It seems that the narrator holds more power in this triangle than she thinks she does, with Franklin having long held his promises to her, and Dolly showing a desire to be her friend. Franklin and Dolly, though affectionately excited to see one another, do not seem to waiver in their individual commitments to the narrator.
The narrator is hurt at a perceived breaking of a promise by Franklin–she acknowledges herself that the “deception” that was “unbearable” to her was “perhaps…self-deception” (247). This imagined broken promise the narrator knows to be potentially non-existent. But because her promise to Franklin is still strong (“there could be no thought in my head of any man but Franklin, ever”), even the thought of a broken promise is enough to be hurt (249).
This last passage is important, then, because the narrator reaffirms to herself that her fear of Franklin breaking promises is not in line with the reality of their relationship–Franklin keeps promises, especially to the narrator.
Coming to Age 