Author: lainc20

The story for this week’s course is Tillie Olsen’s Tell Me A Riddle, a title suited to this short story about a mother, and the view of her firstborn. While seemingly direct, it had moments that were more abstract in language and harder to follow but felt necessary to convey the expressions of love and affection she had for her daughter. 

The narrator spends this story talking about her eldest, Emily, and reminisces on the experiences she had as a young mother with a newborn child, newly single from her partner, Emily’s father, having left the picture while Emily was still an infant. She discusses her life with Emily, the way she had to sacrifice time spent with her for the sake of work, the trials of war, and the general trials that came with any new mother handling the role of motherhood, especially as the only involved parent in said child’s life. She discusses the different ways in which she fretted and worried over Emily, in ways that felt as if she could hardly get a grip on the ways that she loved her, despite the conflicting situations of Emily’s childhood. Her narrative feels overwhelmed in all the affection she feels towards Emily, even if she does not know how to express it properly. An example of this is the way she discusses that she may not smile enough at her, and how it does not take away from the love she feels. 

It seems to consume every bit of the narrator’s being, so to speak, in this conflicted battle of the love she feels versus the parts of daughter that she can’t seem to understand, the way that there were times that she could not recognize who her daughter was capable of being, in comparison to how she knew Emily. It feels like a distinct look into the trials of motherhood, and all that comes with it, fulfilling or otherwise, and was a piece I enjoyed greatly. It was especially interesting to me that it was focused specifically on the firstborn, as it showed me that there would be different experiences and emotions faced with a firstborn as a new mother versus the children after. This is not to say that she loved them less, just that the love seemed to manifest differently according to each child. 

As someone who has no concept of what that attachment to your child feels like, and has no intention to partake in that aspect of life, the narrative was engaging and still managed to have the reader have a sense of empathy for the narrator, and all the emotions that are involved when taking the role of mother. 

For this response, I decided to focus on Yiyun Li’s Sweeping Past. This short story centers around the protagonist, Ailin, reminiscing of her two best friends in the eternal sisterhood that they had sworn to each other, and the tragic backstory that caused the rift. 

I found this story interesting when I was first reading it, mainly because I wasn’t sure what to expect when it first began, with little context to the style of Li’s writing or storytelling. However, the shift between the memories and current day in a way that made the narrative of Ailin’s younger days seem more current, and the timelines feeling blended, was poignant in the first couple of paragraphs. 

It also felt like an impactful way of showing the generational difference layered over the cultural difference a possible non-Chinese reader may have when it comes to the prospect of the arranged marriage between Mei and Lan’s son and daughter. Ying herself could not understand whre Mei and Lan’s resentment of Ailin could come from, especially when she was not the cause of either of the children’s death. Ailin, however, mentions herself that she understands that the anger spawned from her old friends’ grief was not inherently rational, nor did she expect it to be. 

Overall, this was a gripping telling on the concept of grief, I feel. The grief not only Mei and Lan felt towards their children’s respective deaths, but also the grief that Ailin may not have openly expressed to Ying, but she must have felt even in her older age of her lost friendships. This, coupled with all the regrets and what-ifs that have run through her when in reference to her later marriage being a catalyst, shows that there are perhaps parts of the situation that she will always wonder about, even if she has done her best to make her peace with the circumstances. 

This Monday’s visit to the senior center was once again pleasant and enjoyable, especially now that we have introduced ourselves to the lovely women from the center. I found myself looking forward to it since the last time we visited, and it was no less exciting to be there than before. I ended up seeing some familiar faces as well as new ones, which was great.

Our discussion this week surrounding The Dark Flood Rises brought a lot of very insightful conversations around the importance of understanding your mortality. As well as this, we discussed how important it is to take the proper measures to ensure that the person and their loved ones are open to conversations around death and someone’s passing, given the emotional aspect of it that could leave someone unprepared to deal with all that comes after, especially in the midst of their own grief. While it is a hard topic to broach, especially for the ones most effected by their aging not only physically, but in some cases emotionally, it is one that is increasingly important, especially in a society that has always glorified the youth and youthfulness.

When it came to the book itself and its characters, it was interesting to hear all the different opinions regarding Fran. While some of us saw her as a character with a lot of charm based on the way she held so firmly to her independence, others in the group thought that she looked down too harshly at the older people she knew who were more willing to accept the help they needed in the lives. The topic brought up some questions in my mind about the value of independence and how we see asking for help as burdensome up until the point that it is necessary, or we are essentially forced to do so. The different perspectives gave a lot of potential for open dialogue that helped keep the discussion lively and engaging the entirety of the visit.

Though it has only been two of the handful of visits we’ll have for the rest of the semester, it has been a great experience to be able to meet people in the community, especially with a significant generational difference. The conversation has yet to feel forced or stale, and I eagerly await the next visit, to further talk about the books that we have planned to read.

Going to the Oakland Senior Center this past Monday as part of meeting and socializing with the local senior community was a very fun and insightful experience. It was refreshing to meet these older women in a group setting, and a larger, more casual classroom-type environment, who all had a variety of different life experiences and stories, which gave many different perspectives to the stories that we read. There were also many enlightening conversations about the treatment and portrayal of older women in society, and how that does not align with their view of themselves, given that they view themselves as women and human before they see themselves as elderly, or vulnerable. 

Myrna, Daphne, and Sharon were all lovely women in my group who I got to speak to and have a dialogue with around these topics. It was a meaningful interaction that gave me a lot of perspective I would not have had prior, given my lack of interaction with seniors in my everyday life, outside of my family. They had positive feedback surrounding both the book and short story we were assigned, which also lead to them opening up about their own life and family, and that was incredibly interesting to hear about. All these women had amazing and heartfelt stories to share with me and my group partner, Alex, that I felt very honored and grateful to hear, because they were so open to sharing with us. It was nice to also see how eager they were to know more about us and our opinions on topics they knew were more relevant to the younger generation.  

Discussing everything from our family dynamics to the way we navigate our lives in society lead to some very animated conversations, and it was an amazing experience to be able to be a part of it and share with these women. It felt meaningful to give them the space to talk about these topics and know that they were confident we would hear them and really engage with what they had to say, from politics to current events and even the sort of media they enjoyed watching and interacting with on a regular basis. 

I look forward to the future meetings we will have at the center, and with all the senior women who participate in our events, as they show a clear interest in wanting to interact with us as students of Mills College. The generational difference only amplifies our need for these conversations and brings a fun and compelling dynamic in our enjoyable and necessary discussions. Knowing that I will be able to meet so many different senior women from all walks of life has me already looking forward to our next monthly meeting. I also look forward to seeing the women who decide to come to our class and see what it is that we’re learning and discussing for the remainder of the semester. I’m sure there will be many more engaging and fulfilling subjects to learn within our curriculum and assignments.